Centering Tools

Rites of Passage

A Full-Blown Rite of Passage

Tomorrow I take my 24 year-old daughter to NYC where she will begin life, post-grad school completion, as a full-fledged, independent adult.  She will move into her first apartment, as well as, for the first time, not be attending school since beginning kindergarten.

This is a full-blown rite of passage.  It strikes me that, beyond growing up, we undergo many rites of passage.  There are the ones we are conditioned to expect, which some of us never experience, like getting married and having children; and others we are perhaps conditioned not to expect but nonetheless happen anyway, like losing a job, divorcing, becoming handicapped, becoming successful, completing changing your worldview.

Major Maturational Leaps

I was reminded this week in my work with clients how helpful it is to identify life crises as rites of passage and then explore understanding the characteristics of  a rite of passage.  This allows much more realistic yet expansive capacity to then adjust one's expectations. 

Rites of passage represent major maturational leaps, and, as such, require restructuring dreams, conditioning, and courses of action.  Rites of passage take us into the stages of grief as well, which are denial, bargaining, anger, hopelessness and acceptance. 

How to Successfully Transition

This is, in fact, the therapeutic and developmental bridge which  allows us to successfully transition from one "world" we inhabit to the next, becoming a more whole, developed person through the transition.  On that note, I have a few suggestions for you to explore:

1.  Assume, as if it were an experiment, that whatever you presently find most challenging in your life is a rite of passage.  Describe the challenge in those terms.

2.  Imagine you can successfully change to meet the challenge.  See yourself as different, and describe that person in as much detail as you possibly can.

3.  Now imagine you can see the new world in which you as that new person can exist to resolve the challenge in a way that promotes wholeness.  Draw a picture or diagram of that new world and place yourself in it.

Review how you have completed  these steps, and record your insights afterward.  How are you moved to commit to initiating these changes?

Opportunities for Healing and Spiritual Completion

Rites of passage are how we organically progress.  They offer catalytical healing opportunities and spiritual completion for greater acceptance and empowerment.   

It is interesting, finally, to note that this time of year, traditionally the start of a new school year, is commonly viewed as a rite of passage.  I guess we none of us ever really leave the spirit and deeper directives of this "school" after all.

Centering Session

What can you expect from a free consultation?

First of all, I care about you, and I'm committed to your personal healing, freedom and growth.  I have helped thousands of people using a variety of tools that I have honed since 1984.

When you call, I will ask you to tell me what you would like to have happen in your life at this time.

I will listen very closely on therapeutic, analytical, and intuitive levels.

Through our dialogue, I can determine how Centering Sessions and/or Centering Tools will help you to start or continue on your own unfolding journey to happiness, healing and success.

What can you expect from a Centering Sessions?

I work with many powerful tools and teach you how to use them, both in sessions and on your own.  Throughout the 15 years of my practice, I have continued to develop more and more creative ways to use these tools for healing and development.  I have every confidence that you can achieve spectacular results with the Centering Tools of your choice.  You can use the printable checklist below for reference.

These are the tools for transformation that I have used with great success:

• deep relaxation and breath work for balancing and de-stressing
• visualization, including active and guided imagery and medication
• journaling and related creative writing practices designed to solve problems, freely express feelings, unlesh potential, and uncover life purpose
• develop inuitive abilities
• drawing as therapeutic/creative expression for healing and deepening insight

Hypnosis is a wonderful tool for:

• relaxation and stress release
• healing from trauma
• releasing fear and anxiety
• healing phobias
• breaking addictions
• present and past life regression
• achieving goals
• improving motivation
• relieving pain
• opening doors to experiencing altered states of awareness
• shamanic healing and journeying including: soul retrival, lucid dreaming, finding your guide
• spiritual grief counseling for forgiveness and completion
• exploration of mythic and archetypal connections for core spiritual healing
• recovery therapies including inner child work

Self-healing techniques, including healing from codepency will produce the following transformational results:

• connecting to your higher self
• finding your spiritual center
• conflict resolution

Intuitive and spiritual counseling tools include:

• Tarot
• I Ching
• Runes
• animal totems
• all higher guidance including goddess energy (the "divine feminine")
• Reiki, therapeutic touch, and other forms of intuitive/energetic healing, both hands-on and telepathic

You may ask me any question you wish about my Centering practice:

• how I work
• scheduling
• fees

I look forward to working with you.  I am honored to be part of your chosen transformation.

Email or call me (585-244-6210) to set up a free consultation or to inquire about product/service announcements and  discounts!

Feeling is Creation

The Transformational Dream

I don't always remember my dreams, but I did last night.  I had a short, interrupted sleep, so thought it was interesting that I remembered them all so clearly. 

I am in need of this message right now, to be sure, in the midst of a sad, old crisis involving my beloved daughter and her father that, so far, is going as well as can be expected towards necessary new resolution and hopefully, new beginning.  So here is the message from the dream(s):  Longstanding, deeply-felt feelings create multidimensional reality. 

Visions Versus Feelings

I don't know if I really wanted to face that.  I've very much, since I was easily 15 probably, understood visions do come true . . . sometimes. 

Feelings, though - all feelings - the ones we love that seem all-too-elusive - and the ones that stay with us uncomfortably and plague us painfully no matter what we do - also create experienced reality.  Those experiences, of course, are much harder to face, and then how can we deal in a way that serves us, with that reality, let alone allows us to survive it?

The Reality We Least Want

I  think the real word here, rather than "create" regarding how feelings produce corresponding reality, is "magnetize".  So in the all-through-the-night dream I just had, I was clearly told and shown that the "survivors guilt" - as it is called - over the sudden death of my husband, and the terrible, unresolved pain I continued to feel for so long over those feelings "matched up" with the terrible, longstanding guilt my daughter's father also hated and couldn't  - to this day, I believe - shake. 

That combination, I suddenly understood in the middle of last night, is what brings us the reality we least want.  Feelings generate passion, which is intense, unrelenting, most magnetic energy - the kind that very much creates reality. 

Karma is the Great Spiritual Challenge

When we refuse to accept, because we feel hopeless about what we fear will happen as a result, the painful feelings that emerge from a hurt that cuts us to the core, those intense opposing energies generate what I call "compromised" reality that produces an equally hopeless outcome.  The spiritual challenge, which I am moved to call karma, is designed over a significant time -even lifetimes, to offer us oportunities for central healing and growth.

In key therpeutic terms, we are forced to complete a central, multidimensional cycle of grief which always brings us to acceptance - truly - of the impossible.  Reality correspondingly shifts, and the "new beginning" the psychologist who met with us yesterday described, begins to emerge.

The Possibilities for Miracle-Making

How critical for ourselves and our world that we begin to understand and accept the immense challenge to work with this!  Think of the possibilities for miracle-making and great, harmonious transformation!

I think we're meant to help each other to this effect.  My daughter and I watched a movie the day before about 10 questions the director asked the Dalai Lama, who defines "harmlessness" as always reaching out to listen and seek to understand each other.

The paradox, of course, is to never stop reaching out and being willing to listen, acknowledge, and seek to understand ourselves and the great mystery of our own feelings, particularly our pain.  It is a great, hard adventure, and always, we are meant to return to an equally mysterious, reflective inner well of trust and patience in our own inherent spiritual cycles.   

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My Space

Create, Express and Choose Your Identity

Of course I learned about this amazing, rich, wonderful cyberspace universe from my four children, now aged 15, 22, 24 and 30 – all of whom have their own “domains” in it.  I must admit I like the title and the invitation to create, express, and choose how to identify, highlight, and focus on oneself with an eye to freely, confidently sharing it all with the world.

It occurs to me that in my Centering® practice I centrally support clients finding, keeping, expanding, and creating their own inviolate space; and that it is a mysterious journey with surprising, wonderful results that emerge through both hope and woundedness.  In a world with increasing focus on the external and all its complicated pulls, no wonder we are so happy with creating, in the blank space of the inviting Internet, my space.

Connect in Simple, Meaningful Ways

Who are we, really?  How do we want to be in the world?  What are our widest dreams, deepest goals, and clinging visions?  How do we relate, anyway?

My Space artfully draws this all out of us, makes us so suddenly eager to display it all for the world to see.  I think the central invitation is to connect in simple, meaningful ways to ourselves and each other, and thoroughly enjoy all corresponding journeys.  What an ideal vision of how to live one’s life, how to experience relationships!   

The Price of Joy Lost

Joy can be in short supply these days.  There is so much fear, so much wear-down, so much greed, so much obligation, so much anger that the joy that is the best, most basic part of who we are and what we are evaporates and eludes us.   

We pay a price for this loss.  We age mentally, physically and emotionally.  Our spirit dies, and we become dead inside.

A Short Guided Meditation

I invite you, then, to celebrate the brilliant fullness of summer, and in the spirit of then harvesting your innate capacity to experience – even generate – joy, to join me in the following guided meditation to experience My Space: 

Settle back comfortably, arms and legs uncrossed, close your eyes and deepen your breath.  Count five full, deep easy breaths to yourself.   

Of course I learned about this amazing, rich, wonderful cyberspace universe from my four children, now aged 15, 22, 24 and 30 – all of whom have their own “domains” in it.  I must admit I like the title and the invitation to create, express, and choose how to identify, highlight, and focus on oneself with an eye to freely, confidently sharing it all with the world.

There Aren't Any Happy Endings

The Biggest “Coming of Age” Challenge

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, as the popular saying goes, to figure out that we live in a society that offers schismatic believe systems on many levels.  One of the biggest “coming of age” challenges involved the facing, in the course of a well-lived life, the realization that there are no happy endings. 

I found myself reminded of this in a more full-force way through my own personal crises on a couple of fronts over this past week, which had repeated their basic scenarios over many years, and once again presented current challenges demanding immediate resolution.  This coupled with seeing the well-reviewed movie, “Becoming Jane”, a reportedly excellently researched, but questionable and fictionally embellished, biography of a possible flaming romance in Jane Austen’s early life.

The Miraculous Promise of Fairy Tales Thwarted

The next day I attended, for the first time ever (it only took me forty years after graduating!) my high school reunion, where I heard many more stories about my peers’ triumphs, tragedies, and ongoing life challenges.  Of course I was also terribly struck by how over middle-aged (I’m being kind here) everyone looked and sounded, particularly as we were all given name tags to wear that were our high school yearbook pictures, so there was no doubt about the striking difference in comparing “faces”, present and past.

We hear everywhere about necessary happy endings in life.  Isn’t that what popular fairy tales promise?  After great struggle and life-threatening adventures, the final resolution all, we are assured, comes out miraculously and wonderfully.

Real Resolution That Our Hearts Can Live With

I offer you a translation of this promise to better transcend the schism between what we’re conditioned to believe and desperately hope for in our well-lived lives, and what we typically experience.  My only solution is to interpret the promise as a metaphor.

An end that brings its own integral acceptance is the end that comes through fully experiencing all the stages of grief; beginning with denial and moving wholly through the subsequent stages of bargaining, anger, helplessness and hopelessness to this final stage that offers its own organic forgiveness.  The “happy ending” then, is a resolution that our heart of hearts can live with peacefully and freely.

Our Primary Divine Driective

I daresay it is never what we initially hope for, even, in our most desperate moments, demand.  The ironclad guarantee, though, is that the “ending” to these poignant chapters of our lives will centrally yield key self-healing and spiritual development that will recreate us as an ever-evolving being of light consciousness.

That, after all, is our primary divine directive.  Slogging it out on the earth plane, though, through the many ups and downs of our lives, we’re more than entitled to express all our understandable feelings of the moment.   

Become

That is the only way we can stay present with being fully present, which is the foundation that brings the gifts of personal growth and empowerment.  It is, of course, how we transform, or, as the movie about Jane Austen states, become. 

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